20 ifs to avoid hearing:
“enty testahly wa7ed a7ssan menny”
So Foo2y lenafsek we et3’ady beeh abl mayet3asha beeky, just don’t miss these signs:
1. if he stops calling u like before and when u call him,
he makes excuses (sleeping, in the WC., working, se7leya 3addet 3ala afah) so el7ayah ba2et tas2ee3 w short calls…. Eshta
2. if he’s always online for no reason and when u come on, he disappears while his earth-line is still busy and when u ask him, again excuses like (program errors) innocent….huh!
3. if u send him a sweet sms or a nice card on his e-mail, he doesn’t reply or even mention it… Alzahaymar be3eed 3anek :)
4. if he suddenly prefers going out with his friends or even his mom than going out with uuuuu... lessa betfakary?!!
5. if u go out to see him taking sa7betek elantee7’ with u & u find him totally neglecting u, concentrating on ur ANTEE7’ plz don’t be impressed thinking that “woooow da zoa2 mot” coz la2 da beytafeshek moooooooot…..
6. if u find him jumping when the check comes, oops he lost his keys somewhere so he goes 2 find them, or it’s the pee calling and tab3an he must answer….elsekka dy ya 7abibty, as they say “save ur money for ur honey” efhameeha ba2a….
7. if he asks u to change your look, ya3ny (2ossy sha3rek.. la2 taweleeh awy), change ur style, ur make-up is oldie, and when u do so, he says “elawel kan a7ssan” what r u waiting for?!! SHOOT HIM….
9. if u make a new haircut or color and he gives u the cold eye as if u r his bro with his usual cut…NA3EEMAN, and if u r veiled u find the same reaction whether ur tar7a is red, white, or even black…. color blindness ya 7aram….
10. if suddenly roses vanish, sweet words wel a3’any elly kan bey3’aneeha 3alaiky lail wenhar BA7, ethics have GONE WITH THE WIND, so u find him rushing through doors before u, no more opening car’s door for u, pulling chairs to make u sit, instead he may pull it while u r sitting…. oops te3eeshy weta7’dy 3’airha !
11. if he becomes a living hell, always criticizing, asking for ur opinion only to do it’s opposite, fighting even when u try to calm him down, beyetlakek, nezam “WE KAMAN BET2OOLY SABA7 EL7’AIR?!!”
12. if u had this fight and although he’s the one to blame, he never apologize even if u stayed away for a month….assloh nessy… 3ady bete7sal…
13. if it’s his birthday, u buy him the most fabulous addidas watch thinking enoh hayetkawem lamma yeshofha, but when he sees it, enty elly tetkawemy coz a cool dude like him can never wear such a thing so he may ask for a pair of Nike shoes instead, hateeha u r gonna need’em, not for his feet of course! u know what I mean J
15. if he time after time doesn’t show up on ur dates so u use ur speed dial, but as if u r ringing to an alien who neither has mobinil nor Vodafone…. Still ringing?!! Rabena yewafa2ek……
16. if he suddenly becomes so selfish and tight after being generosity itself, so now he wants to take anything from u, nezam “elly yeegy menek a7ssan menek” so he may take ur pen, watch, or even ur juice, and nooooooo this isn’t obsession, come ooooon the guy is drinking ur juice!!!
17. if u become for unknown reasons “a7’er man ya3lam”, so he may get promoted, travel, do anything without telling u, again noooooo the solution isn’t a private detective for him, maybe a professional serial killer!
18. if after being that jealous nervous guy, he becomes so cool who may suggest going out with his friend instead of him to help u in doing whatever u want…. Cooooooool
19. if u tell him that finally u told ur mama about him, then u find that snowman becomes suddenly a dynamite that explodes in ur face… 3ando 7a2, it’s too early, 5 years so what!!
20. if u want to break the ice so u told him the magic 3 words “I love uuu” but instead of turning into ur charming prince, he turned into that creature with long ears, tail, what do we call him?!! Bezabt, so u may find dreadful silence or answers like a cold “wana Kaman”, “merci” or “ENTY TESTAHLY WA7ED A7SSAN MENNY”…….